The Paris I Don't Know (though I should... and you should too!)

I decided to take a break from my usual self-centric posts and write something about PARIS, this amazing city I live, breathe and pay tons of taxes in. Like TONS. As in, hey there, Mr. Salary. Allow me to dismember you and offer up your legs to social taxes, your arms to residence taxes, and that nice thick hair to income taxes. De rien. Then throw away your core to cost of living so that your poor head is left alone to ponder those student loans you still have to pay off. Youch. But the croissants are to die for! 

Anyway, a friend from high school reached out to me and asked if I had any recommendations for her upcoming trip to Paris. I love giving recommendations, or rather I love showing that I know more about something than others, and so I fervently listed dozens of sites and restaurants and neighborhoods in her three day trip. When I finally stopped to take a breath, I read through the exhaustive list and realized that I hadn't even been to half of them. Why not? I could blame the taxes, but it's mainly due to laziness. I thought, well that's dumb to suggest places I don't actually know are any good, which made it the perfect topic to share over the world wide web. So don't take my word for anything on this list, although I highly recommend each of them. To be fair, all have been backed by tripadvisory, yelpy, lonelyplanety reviews, so it's not like I just pulled them out of my arse. And if I had, more reason to try them out. I'll follow this up with a list I actually HAVE experienced and recommend (very soon, je promets!), but for now:

Places in Paris I recommend without the authority to recommend them: 

- Catacombs - It's a super cool ossuary (yeah... I had to look it up) where the remains of nearly 6 million people have been dumped throughout history. Apparently this huge labyrinth located several meters below ground leads you through spooky dark passageways lined with human skulls and bones. Might not be the best for date night with your claustrophobic boo. 

- Le Cimetière du Père-Lachaise - Another happy place for dead people. It's the largest cemetery in Paris that is the resting spot for some "kind of" famous people like, oh i don't know, Jim Morrison, Oscar Wilde, Chopin, Edith Pilaf, to name a few. I've heard there are also really impressive WW1 memorials. 

La Durée

- La Durée - So after you're all zombied-out, try something on the sweeter side. This pastry house (I believe there are three of them around the city) is known for making the best macarons… period. I have no problem with the ones sold at McDonalds but hey, when in Rome... errr Paris.

- Musée d'Orsay - Many say it's the best museum in Paris. Located in a gorgeous ancient train station along the Seine River, the museum houses the world's largest collection of Impressionist Art. Impressionism is pretty awesome. The museum's not too far from where I work. And it's also free for me. Now I feel ashamed that I haven't gone...

- Boat ride on the Seine - You see it in all the movies, the romantic dinner on a boat listening to some flapper-dressed singer belting out "La Vie en Rose" as you cruise past the Eiffel Tower. I'm not saying that I'm above these kinds of mushy gushy, overly priced tourist traps. I'm also not saying I wouldn't go if someone were to invite me. I'm just saying I've never done one. 

Hey sista, soul sista

- Moulin Rouge - Speaking of overly priced tourist traps… Roxanne! While I've taken a million photos in front of the iconic red windmill (those wearing skirts be weary: the huge air vent on the platform in front of the building will lead to some unwanted Marlin Monroe shots), I've never actually paid the 100 euros or however much to see the show. Spoiler: you do get to see boobies!  

-Place des Vosges - I was supposed to go on a date here once, but then it rained and so we rescheduled but then the guy left and I was like, seriously dude, but then he had a good reason and- ANYWAY, it's the city's oldest and most beautiful town square, built in the early 1600's. Just a couple blocks from the very popular Bastille statue, its green space is highly sought out for picnics on sunny days (NOT rainy days… I'm not bitter...). 

- Rosa Bonheur - So this bar is located smack dab in the center of my favorite park (I'll get to that in my next post), and I run past it all the time but never saw what the big deal was. Apparently on sunny days, you're warned to arrived before 6pm if you want any chance of getting in. They have a great terrace with lively communal tables and play great tunes inside the pavilion. My friend met her awesome boyfriend there. The bar also sponsors the soccer team that kicks our asses at every tournament. Again, I don't see what the big deal is. 

*DISCLAIMER: I just went there last night... and it IS a big deal!

I'd love to hear your recommendations for places you've never been... because the best advice is the kind you can't defend! 

p.s. Again, i promise to follow up with a post listing places I truly love and frequent in Paris!